I guess that is the best way to sum up my life right now. Most of my days I feel like I am just getting through them. My job is good, my health could be a lot worse (!), my life is really at a much slower pace now than it has been so why I am so glum? I don't think our dull, gray weather has much to do with it.

I think the fibromyalgia or maybe just the diagnosis of fibro is getting to me. For so long I just kept thinking if I do this or don't do that things will get better. now I know they probably will not and they will probably get worse. I saw the doctor yesterday and he upped my dose of gabapentin so hopefully that will help. I think he was pleased that I would rather try and work with this medication than just trip on over to something new. I think he believes it will work and so that gives me hope...sort of. I wish I could block the fibromyalgia commercials on TV though, every time I see one I want to scream. Have you seen the side effects of some of those drugs? Good Lord, I would rather ache all day that have my tongue swell, my liver convulse and start sleep driving! Oh man. All those commercials are pretty much the same no matter what drug you are looking at for what ailment. THAT is why I am against taking any drugs at all which also tells you how bad I was feeling that I would even start taking anything.

I am not going to just do that though. I made up my mind that this year I am going to take care of me. If I can't function there will be a whole world of problems around here. Right now I am looking for a warm water aerobics class as therapy for my joints and I am also looking at alternative health providers such as acupuncture. My doctor is believe it or not, all for that. He says his job is to eliminate my pain, not sell drugs, imagine that!

I am also trying to get back into my creative outlets. Pretty much since last April I have shut that part of me off. Not so much that I made a conscious decision to do that but that I have had no desire to do it. At the beginning of December I decided to get involved with Project Linus. One of the things my friend Pam intended to do after she retired was to make blankets for Project Linus. When her birthday rolled around, I decided that I would make a couple and donate them in her honor. So far I have made I think 15 and I am still going strong. In addition, I have started an afghan for me with the leftovers from the PL blankets so I am getting some hand therapy, reducing my stress level and helping a good cause. I need to take some pictures and get them up here.

Now that I have exorcised a few demons, I guess I had better go get dinner started!

Well I cannot say I am sorry to see this year go. It has been one things after another but it seems like the years are all like that anymore. I have a friend who just wishes for peace in her life this coming year. I have to agree with her, PEACE, calm, harmony...I don't care how you say it just to get through the days without a knot in your stomach over one thing or another would be nice. That's my hope for this year.

On the plus side, I got to spend New Years with Karen and Miles and baby Isabell was mine for 24 hours. I have forgotten how much work babies are but when they smile you do forget all that so it is OK. Since Karen's transfer is all but a done deal, this will probably be the last weekend that I get to spend with them unless I head to New York. That makes me sad but I am so very glad we have had the time we have had! We will work hard not to let things go by the wayside I hope!

I ahve started making blankets for Project Linus. The idea really belonged to my friend Pam and I decided on her birthday that I would do that for her and I have. So far I have completed 6 blankets and have fabric for many more. There is always a child somewhere who needs to be kept warm. :-)

Today was the end of my extra holiday days off so tomorrow marks the return to the daily grind. It is my plan to take better care of me this year. I need to find out what is causing my problems and take care of it one way or another. Just getting into a routine will help. I need to pick my sewing back up again and get my creative side nourished so my stress side can take a break!

We will see!! Here's to 2010