Well I finally forced my FIL to go to the hospital last night as he has not eaten any food of consequence since last Wednesday. While I was there I started describing all his symptoms and mentioned that I thought he may have had a small stroke. The tested his neurological responses and ruled that out but decided to do a CT scan just to take a look and they discovered that he has four rather large tumors (quarter size) in his brain. Totally inoperable. There are more smaller ones as well. They are not alone since the cells that formed them came from somewhere. They admitted him last night and were running some tests today to see if they could find out where the cancer started but so far we have no news.

I am so sick of finding cancer around every day corner of my life. My grandmother,mother, my father, uncles, aunts, in laws everywhere I turn it rears it's ugly head. It has taken so may people that I love and maimed others. When they told me what was wrong last night I suddenly felt so hollow. I wonder sometimes about the resilience of humans. How we can stand so much and when does the breaking point finally come. Do we cease caring so we can't be hurt? Do we harden our hearts and look away? I wonder how we get through every day sometimes...sometimes I just wonder how I get through THIS day.