I got my application for the MAT program in the mail and I have filled out most of it, sent off my 2 reference forms and ordered my transcripts from TCNJ. Now if I knew how I was paying for this I would be happy.
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Well I guess I am not all that dedicated to this blog since it has been 8 days since I last posted. The good news I guess is that I have been busy doing other things. Still no job but I have made some progress.
I got my MAT application in the mail on Wednesday and have it mostly filled out. I am working on the essays which aren't difficult except for trying to say what I want in 300 words or less! For me that's a problem. :-) I still need to get a job though or I can't afford $450/credit hour. Who am I kidding? I still can't afford it. Tom is pitching a fit. Oh well, that's what financial aid is for.
OK, more progress is on the stitching front. I finished M designs's Dragonflies, Ladybugs and Bees Oh My! It is really cute and I have yet to decide on a finishing option although I have thought about it quite a bit. All the samplers that are going into my "who knows if it will ever be finished" dining room are garden or bee related so this will fit right in. I guess then the debate becomes whether I should frame it or make a wall hanging. That decision will come when I find either the perfect frame or the perfect fabric. It would be cute to do a quilted wall hanging. It's pretty good sized to at 10 1/2" square.
I am currently working on Patricia Andrele's Christmas House and was making great progress yesterday until I discovered I was one row off where the roof met the top of the house. It took me half an hour to find where I had made the mistake and then I was so disgusted with how much I thought I had to rip out that I put it down fulling trying to decide whether to trash it and start all over or not since this is a two layer piece with an intricate border. There was no way I could manage leaving a mistake like that. Walking away was a good idea though because about an hour later it dawned on me that I just had to remove the roof and realign it. While that was time consuming, it was nothing compared to ripping out the house itself! I almost have the roof back on as of this morning.
Our weather is changing over to nasty, damp fall stuff with a lot of rain last night and much cooler temperatures coming up this weekend. As a result, my arthritis is realy kicking up and I was forced to go and replace my worn out splint and I need to go buy another one. Generally in the past it has been my left hand that was the problem, this year my right is chiming in as well and I think I am going to have to start wearing splints on both hands at night. I also need to break out the lavendar oil and my paraffin bath. What a miserable problem for a stitcher!
OK, back to stitching and my essays...ok, essays first!
I got a call on Monday for a job that I had applied for last May. The guy interviewed me over the phone for an hour and then asked me to come in for an interview today. I got there and they guy threw personnel things at me and expected answers about people I didn't know, had never met. I don't believe in unilateral decisions without explanation. In short, I floundered. I didn't know what he was looking for and while I SAID what he wanted, I said it with enough "wiggle room" that I boxed myself out of the "FIRM" answer.
I am clearly not qualifed for portions of this job but in other areas am more than qualifed. We will see I guess but I am not hanging my hat on it for sure. I came home, more depressed and with a run in my new hose. To top it off, I wore a suit and forgot that it was a jacket that I didn't need to wear a blouse under and I didn't...but then was distracted in the parking lot and unbuttoned it without thinking. I was glad I wore a camisole! The guy parked next to me got an eyeful though I am sure! Nice huh? At least I didn't do it in the interview...well, maybe I should have!
On the stitching front, I had to go get more of the thread to finish the border of Dragonflies and Ladybugs. I suspect that my cat has the rest of my other skein stashed somewhere for his own amusement. He could have waited until I was finished first though! I haven't been in much of a stitching mood. Actually, I haven't been much in the mood for anything but the days are filled anyway.
Well After a few rough spots this past week and some intense examination of what I want in my life and what I need in my life and running my "brainstorms" past my ever so wise SIL... I have made some decisions.
1. I am going to go back to substitute teaching and applying to grad school to go get my MAT. I guess I am either in the..."there is a reason everything keeps falling through and you come back to this plan" or the "if you can't beat them, join them" modes of thinking but in either case I am going to start looking forward rather than back. One thing about it, there will never be a shortage of science teachers!
2. I am NOT going to even try to go the conference I was supposed to go to in Houston in December. I am through stressing about it. I am not putting my money into it when there are things that are far more important to me.
3. I am going home to see my family in December. My brother will be coming home from Germany on the 16th on leave. I miss my brother and the rest of my family and I don't see why I can't spend a couple of days there when I spend every single other holiday with my in laws. I will be back before Christmas. So there are fewer cookies and decorations. Everyone will live. This is for me. (something very telling here when I refer to my childhood home as home and not where I have lived for more than 20 years as home.)
I have a friend who is constantly berating me for giving, giving, giving to everyone to the point that I compromise things for myself. He is just as bad so he shouldn't be throwing stones but I love him so I will allow it. The fact remains that he is right. My own family has gotten so spoiled that 9 days out of 10 I find myself wishing that I am anyplace else but here. Like as not someday I will be too. The sad fact is when you give too much you lose yourself. I went from my parent's home to living with my husband, having 1 son and then a second. Then I landed a wonderful job that allowed me to grow, and learn and stretch beyond my small corner of the world. I thought I had the world by the tail. I lost my job 6 months ago and I am just now seeing that while I loved what I did, it became a part of my identity, just like being my father's daughter, my husband's wife, my sons' mother. When I thought I had found Maria, I realize now that once again I lost her in the maze of overtime, road trips and long distance phone calls.
Beginning today, I am starting on a new journey. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to be? I am going to find out.
Well the emotional roller coaster continued through the week. Still dealing with my sister's problems and trying to make things right for my niece which I may have finally been able to get a stuck wheel moving. Let's hope. Trying to make anything happen via phone from 1500 miles away is an ordeal for sure. On the plus side, I am brushing up on my tact and patience. *grin* another ordeal!
Update on the job...well who knows. After interviewing 4 people and sending their recommendatons down to the powers that be in Frankfort, the powers decided that they really don't want what they originally advertised for so they are going to re-write the job description and re-post the position. It'll be a couple of weeks before that happens and THEN we have to re-apply and re-interview if we are interested. I don't know what I want to do. If it turns into a purely administrative position NOT working with kids and schools I don't have any interest. I guess therefore that I am in a holding pattern. Next week I head out to look for something temporary I guess.
Last night number 2 son tested for his black belt in Taekwondo and finally got it. That makes 3 black belts in my house now. Number 1 son goes for his second degree in 2 months.
Today is rainy and almost 30* cooler than yesterday. I guess I will go to the gym and come home and put a pot of soup on. Then it is on to Part 3 of 4 of a consulting job. I wish I could get more of them and then I wouldn't have to worry so much about the other. With unemployment gone, the consulting work will cover another month and maybe part of a second one. Which puts us into the holiday season with no income. There's a dreary thought!
Weekend will be dreary and cool as well so I am planning on sepnding most of that sewing I hope. I think I have decided NOT to do the craft show. No ambition or maybe I am not dedicated enough to spend every last minute at the sewing machine. either way...NOT.
Last week was a total blur. It was a week of emotional ups and downs as I dealt with problems my sister is causing, an interview for a job that I desperately want, and the death of my friend's brother. I tried to unwind a bit over the weekend but that never really happened and today I was back in the rat race with some consulting work that I thought was completed and today I had to do another 6 hours of work on making changes. I normally don't mind that but I don't like to rush and because someone else didn't do their job, I am now down to the wire on time with this.
Not much stitching going on. I am up to the beading on the 2005 JCS ornament issues design by Patricia Ann. All the letters and numbers are beaded and they are BIG so it's going to take a while. It's pretty though all in golds and white. I would love to stitch it again in silvers and blues like her Silver Frost sampler. That is one of my favorite pieces and I adore the colors in it.
I just finished reading Dorothea Benton Frank's Isle of Palms and I doing something light now by reading Monica Ferris' latest. Poor Goddy!
Enough, I am heading to the shower, pj's, a cold drink and the rest of my book. The heat is here for a couple of days and then Fall comes rushing back in. I am not a lover of cold weather but right now I am so sick of the mosquitoes that I will take the cooler weather to get rid of them! Ciao!
